About Ryan Drewianka

I’m passionate about supporting adult children of narcissistic parents by helping them discover their own voice, recognize their inherent worth, and forge their own purpose in life.

 

How did a passion for adult children of narcissists develop...?

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One of the requirements for earning a counseling degree is to complete a supervised internship. Based on my life experience up to that point (which you can read about in more detail here), I chose to complete my internship (and become an employee thereafter) at a counseling agency that specialized in child, adolescent, and family therapy.

 

During my time at the agency I came to a realization that a majority of the families I treated could be described as a narcissistic family system. 

 

A narcissistic family system is typically composed of a narcissistic person, someone who enables their behaviors, and other family members whose implicit or explicit roles are to fulfill the narcissist’s needs.

 

What this dysfunctional structure usually dictates is that the children’s needs are unconsciously overlooked, if not sacrificed, for the benefit of the narcissistic parent.

 

After a while I felt like I was spinning my wheels. There’s only so much that can be done to help a child in a narcissistic family system when the narcissistic parent refuses to seek or accept help themselves (even though this dynamic protects against their own insecurities and suffering).

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How I live out my passion as a therapist.
 

I witnessed firsthand the core wounds that a narcissistic parent’s unconscious blame, shame, and neglect can inflict on their children. Without the means to protect themselves, these children get hurt by the very people that are supposed to do the protecting. 

 

We live in a culture where the fear of examining our inner world leads to increased chances of perpetuating the cycle of isolation, disconnection, and pain. 

 

As a therapist, my mission is to help the adult children of narcissists break that cycle.

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How my passion allows me to help others.
 

As adults, folks who grew up with these circumstances now have the power and autonomy to effect their own change. But, as we all know, change is terrifying! Which is where my passion comes in.

 

I will be there to help guide and support you as you explore your inner world – an inner world influenced by the emotions, thoughts, unmet needs, and beliefs of a scared and powerless child.

 

Gaining awareness of your inner world and its impact on your outward experiences is a deeply unique and personal journey. As your awareness expands, you’ll find that the many masks you’ve used to keep yourself safe as a child aren’t necessary anymore; you’ll be increasingly met with opportunities to make the adult choices of your True Self.

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To that end, I provide individual therapy services for adult children of narcissistic parents through Telos Counseling at Aslan Institute in Eagan, MN.