Complex Trauma Therapy Near St. Paul, MN
Helping you build the confidence to live life on your own terms.
Does it feel like your inner critic has been getting its way for far too long?
You keep noticing that…
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Whether it’s from a parent or partner, you’re always getting the message that nothing you do is right. You think, “Sure, maybe they’re impossible to please… or maybe it’s just my fault since it keeps happening?”.
Eventually, you tend to feel small, invisible, or unimportant. It feels like the best thing you can do is appease them so it doesn’t become a bigger deal. They become the person your life revolves around, but to them you’re just a tool to be used for their own needs; yours are never considered. -
You’ve noticed that you’re able to pick up on subtleties in your environment: shifts in body language; tweaks in facial expressions; even sights, sounds, or smells can often feel more intense. You find it’s hard to explain, but you’re somehow able to sense the “energy” of a room when you walk into it, and become hyper aware of any changes in the “vibes” between people.
Small talk feels like a chore, so social situations tend to be more calculated. Maybe you can only go to so many events in a given time period, or stay for only so long before you feel drained. -
It’s a lot easier to do what others want to do, or to just go with the status quo, even though it’s not what you would choose. You’ve found that you can minimize the potential for conflict that way, which, really, is the ultimate victory.
Whenever you try to suggest something you often feel guilty or anxious because you’re worried it’ll fall short of others’ expectations and you’ll disappoint them. It becomes confusing though, because afterward you just feel resentful. -
Completing a project or task isn’t necessarily the challenge… you’re creative enough to find a way, even if it comes down to literally the last second! What’s wearing you down is the process of getting there.
Maybe you’re afraid of making mistakes – you know you set high standards for yourself and you’ve felt disappointed when you haven’t met them in the past. Or maybe you just spend a lot of time redoing something because you want it to be perfect, like that three sentence email you’ve been drafting for the last half hour.
Together, we’ll better understand your past so you can confidently create a fulfilling future.
I’m Ryan, a licensed therapist near St. Paul, MN.
And trust is one of the hardest parts, isn’t it? You’ve lived your life until this point believing the hurtful or dishonest things parents, partners, or peers have said to you, yet you’ve also found your own mind to be a mistrustful thing to rely on. You’re feeling stuck.
My goal is to help you sort it all out so you can feel unburdened in accomplishing your goals.
I specialize in helping introspective adults who are suffering from narcissistic abuse from a parent or partner, struggling with the unique challenges of being a highly sensitive person in today’s society, or having trouble with people-pleasing or perfectionist tendencies. My clients learn how to establish and reinforce boundaries, respond with compassion to the voice that says “you’re never good enough,” resist the compulsion to apologize for their own feelings, and overcome the instinct to constantly walk on eggshells around others.
It’s possible to live your life without wearing a mask; maybe you just need some support trusting what’s underneath.
Specializing in…
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Parents or partners with narcissistic traits tend to put their needs first at the expense of yours. Your “job” has always been to help them feel better.
You deserve to feel seen, heard, and understood for who you really are, not invalidated for being the concept they wanted you to be. -
You see and feel life more deeply than many of those around you. Maybe you’ve even been called – literally – “too sensitive” growing up.
You deserve to see your incredible trait as the superpower it is, not the curse that diminishes your self-worth. -
It’s human to invest time and effort into our people, places, and things to ensure we take good care of them. Does it feel like you’re spending more than you’re getting back?
You deserve to believe that you’re good enough despite the opinion of a person or the outcome of a task.
Healing isn’t an easy journey… but getting started should be. After that, I’ll support you every step of the way.
Reach Out
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Click this link and complete the form. I will respond within one business day with available options for us to schedule a free 20-minute phone call.
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Quick Convo
During our consultation I’ll ask you to briefly share what led you to reach out, and I’ll also be more than happy to answer any questions you have.
If you feel like I’m the right fit for your needs, we’ll wrap up our phone call by scheduling our first session and I’ll share what you can expect for next steps.
Sessions can be weekly or bi-weekly depending on your schedule, resources, needs, and goals.
In our work together we’ll reflect on the patterns and dynamics you’ve experienced in the past and explore how they may be preventing you from the future you want.
Get to Work
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What would your life look like if the only approval you needed was your own?
It’s possible. Reach out today.
live life on your own terms
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discover your purpose
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live life on your own terms - discover your purpose -